Ten Bird Commandments

Having been listening to the soundtrack for Hamilton this past week, I got a brainstorm for alternative lyrics to "The Ten Duel Commandments."  If you don't mind wading through a thicket of birding in-jokes!

(Here's the original!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7iHmuco_zo

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine!

It's the Ten Bird Commandments!

Number One:

The challenge – identifications.

You'll need your sharpest eyes, plus a bunch of patience.

Number Two:

In your pack, have a Sibley (the Second

Edition) for when field marks are reckoned.

Number Three:

Hit the hotspot when the rain clears.

Binoculars are nice

If a Code 5 rarity appears.

Also train your ears, catch the flight calls fast.

Don't Just Rely On Expensive Glass!

Number Four:

If you can't clinch ID, that's all right -

Time to post to OBOL, get some twitchers on site.

Everybody scans to the best of their ability;

Some birdseed as a gift is a marker of civility.

Five:

Start before the sun is in the sky.

Chorus song is high, spare an eye to spy!

Number Six:

Leave a note on the eBird site.

Make your case airtight.

Pray reviewers will confirm it's right.

Seven:

Confess you did

Not get a photo but

It might still be amid

That other flock of butterbutts.

Number Eight:

Last chance to equivocate!

Send Dave Irons in, maybe he can set the record straight.

--On the third branch?

--That's the bird. --Sure,

But you can't see projection from that perch. --Heard

It call, somewhere over in that birch. --Bird's

Dropped down.  --If we had another searcher...

--Hang on! That back is too gray. You see, an Acadian

won't fit the facts.

--Okay... It's “Empidonax”.

Number Nine:

Next migration time, it might transpire.

Finally start a big year, aim much higher.

Count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

Sand Martins on the wire!

We'll Build a Panda

For April 1st, let's try a change of pace! 

Some years ago while I was at a Unitarian Universalist service, this song was in the order of service.  "We'll Build a Land."  An adaptation of lines in the Book of Isaiah, about making the earthly kingdom into a reflection of heaven:

We'll build a land where we bind up the broken,

We'll build a land where the captives go free...

There are a few renditions of it on YouTube, but none of them really capture the energy and vigor that this song can yield from a lively congregation.  It's a rousing tune!  Yay!! But this version is nice; a bit more sedate, but it has a real sweetness to it.

A beautiful hymn, yes? and I do love Unitarians.  Absolutely, wish them the best in improving the world.  But... I have to admit that after the first stanza or two the lyrics started to make me a bit fidgety.  Maybe it was just my contrariness under the narrative of inevitable progress toward utopia? 

I rewrote the lyrics on the fly.

We'll build a panda with big bamboo salads!
We'll build a panda who thinks he's a saint.
We'll build a panda from old Chinese ballads,
Oh, we'll build a panda - one grizzly, add paint!

We'll build a panda with thumbs for hitchhiking
And proudly take credit for all he achieves
But please keep him away from all firearms at dinner
Because by his nature he eats shoots and leaves!

We'll build a ham with good slop and a pigsty!
We'll build a ham from a hog and a sow.
We'll build a ham to grow up to a big guy,
Oh, we'll build a ham (should the zoning allow!)

We'll build a ham on a farm where George Orwell
Has never told tales that should trouble his sleep,
One who chats with sly rats and compassionate spiders,
And also is useful for herding your sheep!

We'll build Shazam in a four-color comic!
We'll build Shazam (and the villains Cap fights).
We'll build Shazam, with a power atomic,
Oh, we'll build Shazam (and his thunderbolt tights!)

We'll build Shazam, for you know that Sivana
is loose and preparing nefarious schemes,
But if lightning strikes twice it will still be quite nice
When the Marvel returns to a scrawny kid's dreams.

[Let's add one more...]

We'll build Catan with wool, bricks, and grains,
We'll build Catan with timber and ore!
We'll build Catan on hexagonal plains,
We'll build Catan like the Germans of yore!

We'll build Catan, where the Longest Road winds
Past the Robber who lurks in the desert again -
In a newly made country where everyone finds
That however the dice fall, our Nathan can win!

I leave as an exercise for the reader the verses We'll Build a Tan, and We'll Build a Sandwich.